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? >> sadly britain has relied on the government since the end of the second world war. in fact, you gave us some of the money. but we did pay it all back. we just finished paying a couple years back. we always relied on the government and the entrepreneurs have to work between the cracks really. but this story about the u.s. becoming like europe is nonsense. >> it is nonsense? >> complete. >> there is a place for the government, and that's to protect the consumerses. i believe in less government and more individual responsibility. do i believe we are turning into europe? no. the american dream is alive and the bottom line is this -- in 2012 we can vote obama out and in november elections we can vote republicans in, and then we will create a better america. >> i hope the republicans have something. >> they have outrage. >> let's give it a shot. let's get europe to put together a huge fund so they can pay for our defense, and then we can sit around pontificating how cool we are and how much the russians want to let us heat our homes in the winter time. >> europe never asked you to protect the
are an us law mick homophobe. >> well, that may be the great e thing -- the great e -- the greatest thing written about anything. let's roll a clip from reverend jones at the press conference on thursday where he said he would stop the burning. >> the american people do not want the mosque there. and of course muslims do not want us to burn the quran. the imam has agreed to move the mosque. we have agreed to cancel our event on saturday. and on saturday i will be flying up there to meet with him. >> i love this. he is a sexy man, i will give him that. since then jones changed the word "stop" to suspend. he claims he was lied to by the imams behind the mosque. but for all we know he could have been jerking our chains all along. and maybe it was the rusty cater pillar. he calls him crawl face, but ladies call him the flavor saver. lauren, what do you make of this guy? are we spending too much attention on him? >> absolutely. and the guy that burned the quran in 2008, he is all in a tizzy that he didn't get any of the press coverage. he didn't get any death threats, i don't think. >> it is l
people believe the u.s. government was behind the attack on 9/11. we weren't, right? president obama responded calling the crack pote comments hateful and inexcusable, and then adding his beard is ugly and he smells like fish. so on friday the harry hump defended his logic in an interview. >> you punished americans well, but you insulted millions and millions of american biz claiming the u.s. government had a hand in 9/11. scwiet frank -- quite frankly, sir, how can you say such a nuty thing? >> would you address your own president the same way? would they ever allow you to? >> in terms of that remark, sir -- in terms of those remarks -- >> you probably didn't read the full remark. >> what evidence do you have that the u.s. government is responsible for 9/11. >> you are not even allowing me to respond. >> go ahead. >> and you insult me as well. >> do you believe the government had a hand in 9/11? >> i did not say -- give an opinion of my own. i actually suggested a fact-finding group and mission be formed to delve into the truth. >> it was amazing. after that happened eric sean lept
davidson joins us live. greg? >> thank you, andy. >> some rise by sin and some virtual fault. >> and some like me will stab nut face with a salad fork. >> you are a thug and i apologize for nothing. >> i am and i am proud of it. go away. >> let's welcome our guest. i am here with the delightful and the delicious diane pho falzone. she hos "the diana falzone show." and put a ring on it on we -- is that we? she is so hot tauuilla takes shots of her. and mr. van horn. he knows comic i'm tooing like i know basement lining. and my repulsive sidekick, bill shultz. fun fact, the centers for disease control has him on speed dial. and why shouldn't that? and that mown means it is monica crowly. and fox news contributor, she is so hot she received an honorary degree from the sun. and he is a dirty skink who publishes bunk. good to see you, pinch. >> a very happy upcoming birthday to one miss monica crowellly. and i present to you a lifetime subscription to the paper of record as well as every book maureen dowd has written or will write. >> thank you for the birthday wishes. >>s who that? >> however
out who whoa have to bomb. and it is time to prepare for the new world order and threatens the u.s. with a war without boundaries. we will alternate between laughing and crying. and jimmy carter says he is the bestest ex-president ever, and i mean it. does anybody want a peanut? greg? >> thank you, andy. >> from thy presence i part so. >> never mock. >> i apologize for nothing. >> why should you? you are a gorgeous man. go away. >> there she is. it is like she has been gone for decades or something. >> she is a host on meet the boss tv. she is so stunning they are called gilliguns. and a first time guest, ron long. he was a producer for "cheers" and he recently launched the winter olympics ricochet .com. if comedic genius was push ups, i would do him one handed. and my repulsive sidekick, bill shultz. and sitting next to me, john bolton, former am bes der to the united -- ambassador to the united nations. he knows diplomats like i know hairless cats. and he fabricates stories and lives off past glories. good to see you, pinch. >> check out today's science section. we interview a re
hawking. she was a lovely lady. she should have been tackled for using the word" war monger." did she call the police "the fuzz" too? >> yes, she was definitely in a time warp. she forgot it is president obama who is the commander-in-chief and running the war. . she seemed unstable and aggressive, and you don't know -- i i couldn't believe she got that close. >> you can't expect security guards to read minds. i'm sure jack ruby looked sane walking up to lee harvey oswald. >> you left many an angry protest. somehow you may have some kind of idea what this is like. >> a lot of them were frustrated protests. what she did was basically faking out the ref. it was like she pretended she got hit by a ball like jeter or pretended she got more of a fall than she -- foul than she did and hoped to use the media to further advance her message. she did a good job because she definitely didn't get hit. notice mccain, there she is and smiling. oh my god, there she comes, go this way and fake her out. >> isn't that how he always is? >> that is a stapled smile. >> mccain always looks like he doesn't want t
the only one she had left. >> none of us are pro shooting kids, but i sympathize with the grandma. that's why high-powered fire hoses should be mandated. she should be able to drive around and blast these kids with high-powered water cannons. >> i'm surprised she didn't do a warning shot with the gun before you go for the kid. >> then you ruin your ceiling. if there is somebody out there they will be pooping in a bag for the rest of their lives. speaking of bill, here is an uniting truth about stories like this. as long as you put elderly in front of everybody it becomes more adorable. like, it was an elderly woman. if it was just a woman she didn't have to do it, but elderly makes it different. >> when i shoplift at barnes & noble, it is oh bad on you. we will send you to jail. when a granny does it it is like, look at her. she probably just forgot to pay. she didn't forget to pay. >> i think the fact it is a woman makes it different. some of the neighbors say they used to harass us too. i used to run out of my home and they would run away. a woman runs out and we are not that scary. >
here, when warned by advisors of another terror threat on u.s. soil, our president said that our country could absorb the attack. this is what he said in an interview with the author, quote, we could absorb a terrorist attack. we will do everything we can to prevent it, even on 9/11, the biggest attack ever, we absorbed it, and we are stronger. hmm. i don't want to make a huge deal out of this. instead i will pretend to make a huge deal out of this. frankly i have concerns about a president who sees our country as a sheet of bounty that can sopa up mass casualties like a sloppy joe. the attack could result in thousands of dead folks which is why it is creepy using the word saab -- absorb twice. i think obama meant it as a compliment, that we are a strong country that can ham anything. but absorb? you can't say that crap. it is cold and clinical and makes mr. spok sound like smilely. and when bernard schaub asked if his wife was murdered or raped, would he favor the death penalty for the killer? due caucus -- dukakis says no. which is why no one also remembers anything from the de
. what do you have for us today, boys? >> he told him to do that on the accordion, but it didn't end there. >> it is just annoying. it is like there is one more thing, it is another teenager, another ?ot-nosed teenager. don't let him in. >> congressman, there has to be something more to this than him calling president obama a name, right? what is going on here? >> well, i don't have firsthand knowledge of it, but clearly there had to be some type of implied threat of some kind of insulting language for this action to be taken. unlike jim and those people upset of the wharf 1812, we don't want to be appearing with the british at this point. >> i love the brits. i was just joking. do you ever get threatening e-mails? >> yes, many from people other than you. >> yes, i send four or five a day, some with photographs. >> i am lazy so i just send you what greg sent. i reiterate what he said. >> tamara, do you ever send regrettable texts to people? >> i do a lot of regrettable things when i have had too much to drink. i like this kid's excuse. well, he is 17? i have used that excuse a lot wh
play by the rules like this guy. >> that is creepy. >> it is not creepy. he is not using weights. in these times of recession, he is using a resistance band. >> i am against it. >> should they go back to man bunny -- look. >> either love man bunny country or leave man bunny country. >> that was a russian woman speed skater from the 60s. >> he's going to come over here and reproduce like rabbits, and they will take our man buddy jobs. glad to have you back. it has been awhile. i am guessing you are a big fan of the dream act. >> well, it is not going to happen. it should be called the wet dream act. can i say that? >> yeah. >> he says boys and girls who come to our country -- who come to our country like they landed at j.f.k. and went to immigration and stopped at the boys and girls scouts of america and registered there. no, they climbed over or under a dirty fence. they are not boys and girls. but this is political correctness which changes people's behavior through language. this is what this puts harry reid and obama, what they are all b. it is anti-military which is [bleep].
, florida. i have been trying to do that for years. but in a way he has taught us crud. one, that mostly everyone agrees the pastor can burn the book. but he is a winy if he does it. this is exactly my argument over the construction of the mosque. so this guy may have clued in others who missed the subtle point. the mosque could be built, but a conversation would be nice. i'm not sure it is the case with the mosque. but both issues deal with poor judgment. the pastor is the total barf puck. second, america's reaction to this joke should be a blueprint for all muslims when one of the jackasses acts up. there is no delay in smacking this fuzz-phased freak around. and we would like to see more of them from muslims when one of their extremists gets extremey. and i would like to see some of that from our own government. it doesn't take much bravery to take down a stereo typical whack job like jones. going after protective punks takes more stones. and if you disagree, let's party you racist homo fob. >> welcome to new york. our mayor says the pastor has the right to burn the quran, but he find
life as changed in the last 40 days, that that will come up next week, e-mail us tonight. from new york, good night america. >>> welcome to "red eye." it is like "can't stop the music" if by music you mean odor. let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. what's coming up on tonight's show? >> president obama gives an extensive interview to "rolling stone." for those under 50 it is a magazine. for those over 30, a magazine -- for those over 50 it is a magazine. and for those under 30, a magazine is -- never mind. and finally, how sleezy is allen gracen? he is so sleezy. greg? >> thank you, andy. >> i should be angry if the time were convenient. i apologize for nothing. >> i hope your face falls off and is eaten by an adorable fawn. >> thank you. >> all right. >>> you know what we should do? let's welcome our guests. i am here with leeann, the host of nbc's "poker after dark," the card game. and the national heads up poker championship. she's so hot i tried selling her at a pawnshop. and my repulsive sidekick, bill shultz. he stinks of drain hair and sorrow. he has his own audience
. it the accurate representation of all southerners everywhere in the u.s. squeal like a pig, greg. >> have you pretty lips. >> you never hear annette beatty saying, can i get one more for me? >> one of the greatest moments. that was all improve, by the way. they yelled cut, but they weren't stopping. >> he was america's back end friend. >> he is like the guy in "deliverance" who puts the boat in the water and he meets you at the end of the river. you get gang raped in the middle and then he wants to hold a hearing on it. >> who is the banjo player? >> literally the same kid. >> he is in his 40ss now. >> by the way, my auto-biography will be called "getting gang raped by mountain people." >> sad thing is we tried to get the kid from "deliverance." he now works at a restaurant in atlanta and he turned us down. that's amazing. >> that is lucky because you have to pay is fee if you get him. you sketched me a unicorn once which i am starting to sound like meryl streep. i got you something. it is squirrel underpants. i thought, there are like five people on the planet earth, four squirrels i can buy
that terrorism suspects be kept off u.s. soil and deporting -- the best of all, deporting justin bieber to another country, preferably hawaii. con congressional republican #r*z pushing jobs overseas and blow a $700 billion hole in the deficit to give tax cuts to millionaires and billionaires and turn social security from a guaranteed benefit into a guaranteed gamble. they also added that if the pledge were to succeed, the flesh of orphans would be used as coasters in the private hovercraft. meanwhile, here is the most depressing ad in western civilization. >> there is mourning in america. today, 15 million men and women won't have the opportunity to go to work. business has shuddered. 2900 families will have their homes foreclosed by night fall. this afternoon 6,000 men and women will be married, each of their children to be born with a $30,000 share of the run away national debt. our government is now taking over the choices we once made in life. there is mourning in america. under the leadership of president obama, our country is fading and weaker and worse off. his policies were a gr
's would get banged a lot by marching bands. and he never get the dish, and he is used to wrap fish. it is our new york times correspondent. good to see you, pinch. >> be sure to check out times columnist gail collins' delightful column on embarassing politician tweets or is it tweaks? either way i am on cocaine right now. >> i bet you are. >> back in my day we called it jazz salt. >> interesting. >> grinding away now, greg. >> fantastic. that's why you are losing weight. >>> and now to the greg-alogue. it is a chillopa of charm in a taco bell of terror. jazz salt. >> jazz salt. >> speaking of, here are some poll numbers that should scare the low wasted chaps off democrats. by a 52 to 42-point margin voter s who rather have george w. bush as president than barack obama. and the tracking of 2010 congressional preferences, republicans lead by 51% to 41%. that lead is the largest since they started tracking this stuff in the early 1500's. and voter biz a margin of -- voters by a margin of 3-1 think i am gorgeous. thank you, voters. there is reason bush looks good, but it has less to do
of record, good sir? don't think about it, just do it. >> buy us, billionaire, buy us. >>> did her campaign hit a glitch because she once was a witch? or were the voters of -- or will the voters of delaware fall under her stair unaware? yes, bill maar is at it again releasing video from 1999 where she dabbled in witch craft. >> i dabbled in witch craft, but i never joined a coven. >> wait, you were a witch? >> i didn't join a coven. >> i dabbled in witch craft and hung around people who were doing these things. i am not making this stuff up. i know what they told me they do. >> the scarest thing about that is i don't recognize anybody from that show which is really frightening because that was 10 years ago. where are all those people? >> one of them is from "three's company" or something like that? >> no, jaime kennedy. >> o'donnell made light of the whole thing on sunday taking a shot at karl rove who has openly questioned her elect ability. >> the witch craft comment on bill maar, i was in high school. how many of you didn't hang out with questionable folks in high school? but there has b
problems. her senate campaign was way in debt. she used campaign cash to pay half her rebt when her home doubled as her office, and she may have lied about attending princeton. she may be broke and she is a young politician who screws up like every other am ambitious poll. can it be wore than what we see every day? charlie wrangle who won again? chris dodd, pelosi boxer? she can't be that bad. 234* with the hot christian and out with the nine-term poster. apparently kristine has another problem and you will hear about it a lot. nancy cortez portrayed o'donnell as odd because she crusaded for abstinence and porn in the 90s. she felt when a spouse uses porn it compromises his purity. terrible. it is easy to laugh at. how can you believe in abstinence? how can you fight something as ubiquitous as porn? it is everywhere. is it really that weird to say porn screws up relationships? everyone over 30 knows that. you don't need religion to reach that conclusion, just a right hand. if you believe porn is harmless, you have clearly only dabbled in it. when open browsers meet open trousers we turn
? >> thank you for that one. shultz, anytime -- it is a fact that anytime someone uses the word "gonzo" to describe anything, it is going to suck. >> and i'm sorry. he is one of the most over rated writers ever. he is a hack who just took drugs. it should have been "i am a hack who takes drugs." i'm sorry, he sucks. he always sucked. put down your bong and read the book unhigh. the problem with the movie was it was so poorly conceived and so obviously a hoax that those who knew can't brag we knew it was a hoax from the beginning because it was so obvious. >> terry, it was -- i hate it. celebrities are trying to make a statement, and in a way, all it was was an exercise in superior tee to tell the audience they were smarter than they were. then they found out the audience didn't buy it and now they are saying -- >> is it possible to see a couple hours of cats getting into cans? that was actually way more entertaining. >> go to cats in the can .org. >> don't go to catsican .com, that's a whole different thing. >> i am writing that down. >> people don't like to be made fool of. it happens
Search Results 0 to 17 of about 18

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